An Englishman and his spaniel

Sunday, April 23, 2006

Re: Spaniel cheekiness

If there are any noble fellows of the Secret Spaniel Society out there, who just happen to be reading this blog - I wish to clarify that the 'spaniel cheekiness' referred to below is not a direct violation of part 4; clause a of the Secret Spaniel Code, ie 'Without exception the spaniel must give their master the upmost respect in all circumstances.' My master thought I was being 'cute' and 'cheeky' because I was sticking my tongue out. However, we had just walked for 8 miles up a very big mountain in the English Lake District called Coniston Old Man. We had a great time, but I was VERY thirsty by time that this photo was taken and was actually trying to get my master to fill up my water bowl, but he completely got the wrong end of the stick...

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Re: the harness

Arf! That's almost all I have to say on the matter! I am not really not impressed with this harness 'thing':

First, it's really uncomfortable. Didn't my master notice that I've started to waddle like a duck? What's more - I don't pull any more, because it nips just under my armpits, grrr!

Second, although Poppy is good at walking on the lead at the moment, she won't be for much longer. You see, as mentioned the other day, all spaniels must abide by the secret spaniel code, which in part 3; clause f states that 'Until the age of 1 year, the spaniel must obey every command from their master. After the age of 1 year, the spaniel is ready to 'exchange control', ie to take control of their master and all other humans associated with them'. This rule ensures that we spend the first year of our lives learning about our master and what really makes them tick, so we are 100% ready to take control of the master and his household. Poppy is 9 months old, in 3 months time she will turn into a super arsey spaniel. Poppy's master, Ben, has no idea what's coming... hehehe

I should dash, my master is due back from the shops soon and I need to get ready for some more spaniel-tastic fun!

Friday, April 21, 2006

Spaniel cheekiness


For some strange reason, little Jessy stuck out her tongue for this photograph. Perhaps she was trying to tell me something? Cheeky little thing...

Thursday, April 20, 2006

The harness

We spent the weekend with my sister-in-law and her springer spaniel, Sally, as well as my brother-in-law and his springer spaniel, Poppy. These 'spaniel reunions' are always interesting occasions on many levels and always provide the opportunity to compare one's spaniel with the other.

On this occasion, the ability of the spaniel to walk on the lead without tugging seemed to be the comparator. Sally, is a bohemian hippy dog who never walks on the lead - even in the most precarious situations - she just roams free as a bird - oblivious to all oncoming traffic, which evidently don't exist in 'Sally world'. In contrast, Poppy the puppy, still fresh from dog training classes, walks really well on the lead. However, Poppy's master has a secret weapon to improve her performance -the doggy harness. To those of you who are unfamiliar with this piece of gadgetry imagine a child's safety harness for dogs and you will have a vague idea of what it looks like. As a result of using this harness, Poppy gave the impression of being a Crufts winner in the obedience class. Unfortunately, little Jess was nowhere near that level of competence. In front of the other spaniels and their owners, she demonstrated blatant disrespect for the lead, and for myself, as I frantically tried to keep control of her as she coughed, spluttered and slowly choked! This just made me feel like a really bad parent, particularly when Poppy the puppy was strutting her stuff walking so impeccably well on the lead.

Well, after Jess's poor performance this weekend, I decided there was no choice but to get one of these harnesses to see if we could improve her skill at walking on the lead. I went to the pet shop, dithered over the various types of harnesses and eventually came out with a lovely green harness. When we got home, we tried it on straightaway, putting Jess's legs into each loop of the harness and fastening it over her back. We attached the lead, and then as if by magic, Jess turned into the worlds most obedient spaniel! It was unbelievable, she didn't pull, didn't choke, she just chilled out and pottered ahead. However, I sense that Jess doesn't like this harness, because as soon as when got home after the walk, she proceeded to try and chew it - not a happy little doggy. I sense that it will take a while for Jess to get used to this new way of walking...

Monday, April 10, 2006

Re: the sofa


While my master's at work... I've managed to access his blog. I have to say the sofa was grrreat the other day...

I was absolutely shattered after our walk. I'm not unfit though, oh no, you see we cocker spaniels don't just go for a walk - walking involves so much more than just walking! For example, smelling the air, to catch the scent of a birdie, posing (this looks simple but requires a great deal of muscles tone) and finding BIG sticks (the bigger the better as far as I am concerned - I just love sticks) - these are just a few of the additional things we spaniels do when we're out and about! It's very tiring you know.

Unequivacoly, the sofa is mine. My master doesn't seem to realise this. He seems to be oblivious to the secret spaniel code - part 10; clause B - 'The sofa belongs to the spaniel without exception.' I have tried to be subtle about this, for example, after our walk yesterday I jumped up next to my owner 'uninvited'. This time he didn't order me down, but usually he gets a bit upset about it. If only he knew how graceful I am being. As a puppy, I was told stories by my parents about King Charles spaniels who always sat on their sofa and their owner knew who was boss. Respect where it is due - this is quite surprising as they are such weak and feable looking dogs. Anyhow, I had to face the idignity and smell of nuzzling into my owner's armpit to help secure my position on the sofa - what a pong! I also had to do a bit of sighing with a few groaning noises tossed in for effect - humans seem to find this 'cute'.

Anyhow, my mission was accomplished - I managed to secure the sofa for the rest of the evening. Hurrah! It was SO cosy and warm, better than my flea pit of a bed on the cold floor! Whoops, I'd better dash as I can hear the key in the front door - time to jump off the sofa [hehehehe]. I hope he doesn't realise that it is still warm...

Sunday, April 09, 2006

The sofa

We're on the sofa... that spaniel-tastic place where spaniels quite simply love to be.

Jess has had an afternoon full of very special spaniel activities, such as smelling the air, posing with one front paw in the air whilst staring intently at birdies, chasing birdies, mud diving, looking for BIG sticks and then whacking her owner with them every time she runs past
- oblivious to her owner's annoyance!

And now we are pooped and we're here on the sofa. How did we get here? Well, someone (Jess) was univited, but feeling a bit 'soft' Jess's master ignored this act of naughtiness. It is Sunday after all... a day of peace and relaxation. Any other day, Jess would be orderd down to the floor, where all self-respecting spaniels should be.

Jess has nuzzled her way into her owners armpit (not always a pleasant place to be), sighing and grunting as if she is really displeased about something, but what's the problem? Perhaps it is having to share the sofa with someone else? Perhaps she is just trying to make herself comfortable? Who knows?... only the spaniel, such is the mystery surrounding those spaniel ways.

A night of TV ensues, the spaniel is oblivious to this; as long as she is by her master's side on the sofa she is content and happy. She doesn't wonder what's on the TV, think about that 12 noon deadline at work tomorrow, or think about what's for supper. Oh no, Jess is just simply happy in the knowledge of being by her master's side.

Warm, cosy and content the night drifts on...

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